Popcorn for Adults

 

Give me a show of hands for those that love a box of Cracker Jacks. My love of popcorn began with a box of that caramel coated goodness. And let’s face it, what kid doesn’t root around for the “surprise” that’s in the box. My tattoo dreams came true many a day with a lick and stick tattoo I pulled up from the sticky contents of my Cracker Jack box. Oh, those were the days.

I’m a grown-up now and prefer more sophisticated delicacies, i.e. Angie’s Boom-Chicka Pop. That’s right, Angie, the Popcorn Queen, as I like to call her, is the creator/CEO of Boom-Chicka Pop. It’s delicious and she has marketed many flavors. But my Sparky and I have a big obsession with the purple bag, The Kettle Corn flavor. We eat a bowl of it every night!  We purchase it in giant 1 lb. 9 oz bags that look like king sized bed pillows. We load up on them at Costco, sometimes 5 bags at a time. We do this because one time Costco didn’t have them. We cried real tears and friends felt so bad for us they were offering to mail us bags from their town. Costco always has them now. They claim it has nothing to do with the temper tantrum I had in the aisle there, but I’ve got me a feelin’!

Because of all our grown-up distinctiveness we no longer eat right out of the bag. We transfer our sweet snack to a big metal popcorn tin that sits on our counter. ‘Cause we’re just fancy like that! Even the dog knows the sound of the tin shutting and begs for his share of the goodness.

This morning as Sparky was leaving for work, he couldn’t find his wallet. We looked all over the place. He was sure he had put it on the counter when he came home from work. He retraced his steps from the prior night in his poor feeble little mind to no avail. Perhaps he left it at CVS when he stopped there on the way home. He drove by there and scoured the parking lot. I drove there when they opened for business and inquired if a wallet had been turned in. He prayed. I prayed. We begged the Lord to show us the wallet! Where or where could it be?

Once at work, Spark decided to view our Nest camera video footage. Ah the Nest cam – the thing I love to hate. I hate the thought that this camera is watching my every move all day long, but Spark is convinced that if ever there is a burglar – we’ll nab him! He texted me and tells me to look at the footage from 5:31 the night before. And there he is, as plain as day, pulling his phone out of his right pocket and his wallet out of the left pocket and depositing them on the counter as he has done for the past 30 plus years.

This put our minds at ease for the rest of the day, enough that we could get something accomplished.  The wallet had to be in the house. Once home from work, I pulled all the trash out, looked around the house again and watched over 3 hours of video clips from that @#$& video camera. Nothing. Never do I see either of us go back to the spot where the wallet had laid.

Having exhausted all possibilities, I sat down and thought long and hard about the night before. It was pretty boring actually, and not very fun to think about. As a side note, we need to get a life. Then it dawned on me, the only place we didn’t look was the popcorn tin. He did have his nightly bowl of Boom-Chicka. “Now, wouldn’t that be crazy if his wallet was in the popcorn tin,” I mused to myself as I lifted the lid.

And there…to my disbelief laid Sparky’s wallet amongst the fluffy kernels! What on
earth!!! That’s it, my husband is officially losing his mind. This is very concerning. I didn’t know if I should laugh, feel relieved or be highly concerned about his mental well-being. I quickly snapped a pic and sent it to him.

Relieved as he was, he was in shock and kind of thinking the same thing as me – is he losing his mind? However, he did remind me that I got popcorn after he did. Now the plot thickens.

I am completely baffled by this and although I was relieved to have found the wallet – the mystery now remained as to how in the world it found its way to the popcorn bucket. Did I put it in there? I was the last one to dip my bowl in the tin.

I logged back on to the @#$& video footage. I scanned through videos until I saw one of myself getting popcorn. I watched it over and over. I took the lid off, laid it on the counter, and returned it to the tin. I took the lid off a second time and got a handful more to fill my bowl up and returned the lid again.   

Now, Spark’s wallet is not a typical wallet. It’s actually a money clip. The clip is magnetic. It wasn’t until I watched the video a fourth time that it dawned on me – Hey, I bet I put that darn lid over the wallet, and it was magnetized to the lid. Sure enough, I tested out my theory and that is what happened. Somewhere along the line the wallet became too heavy and the magnetization gave way plummeting it into it’s sweet and salty safety net!

The moral of this story is that I’ve come a long way from a lick and stick tattoo in my cracker jack box. I’m now finding 4 credit cards, $50 in cash and a Five Lakes Coffee Card in my Boom-Chicka! Growing up has its perks! Welcome to my adult world!