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Sunday, June 8, 2014

Father's Day Faux Pas

Back home when someone did something kind of crazy or absent minded we never wanted to speak ill of them so we would just say “Bless her heart” or “Bless Joe” (or insert the name of your own poor sap here).  That was our way of recognizing that poor old sap who had screwed up one more time without actually having to say something bad about them.  Just those gentle southern ways!   Well, I had one of those “Bless Kim” kind of moments!

At first these “Bless Kim” moments are quite disturbing to me and it only takes moments after I realize my errors that I begin to start plotting my future…such as… what “facility” I will spend my final days in? And also, wondering if I’ll be that lady pushing the grocery cart down the street with the bra on the outside of her clothing!  I spend a considerable amount of time there, wondering about my mental capacities, and then, well, I just can’t help but come back to the hilarity of it all – which typically results in a blog!  A girls got to deal with this insanity somehow!

So here’s my most recent “Bless Kim” moment – prepare to say “Bless Kim” unless you already have!

Several weeks ago someone called me at the church office wanting to book the church cabin for a grad party.  She booked it for the 8th but then cancelled it because she didn’t want to do it on Father’s Day!  Well, I certainly didn’t catch onto this but my poor fragile mind locked in on June 8 as Father’s Day and there it stayed.

I was bummed that Sparky had games all father’s day weekend so I even said to him that maybe we’d wait until Monday or something to have Father’s day dinner.  I went to many pain staking lengths to put just the right clip art and Father’s Day stories in the Church Newsletter (Go ahead and say your first “Bless Kim” right here).  I was quite proud of the clip art I had chosen for the front page of the Shoreline newsletter but it didn’t actually say Father’s Day so I decided to find more and more and more.  I really did it up nicely!  Dad’s from all over Shore Church should feel inspired and encouraged by my many newsletter quips and quotes!

Then it was on to the Pre-service slide show.  I carefully selected an opening slide that had to do with the Father’s day theme and put it as the first slide – I even carried the theme throughout the show in other places and even changed a slide to one of the songs we sang to one with a father and daughter!  Wow – I was going to town on this Father’s Day business in the church office on Friday! 

Saturday had lots of twists and turns in it that I wasn’t planning and so the day kind of got away from me but I did take the time to sit down and plan out a special surprise for My Sparky!  After all, he is the world’s greatest dad and worthy to be honored!  Once done, I decided that after church on Sunday Hannah and I would venture out to Walmart and pick up some things for his favorite Strawberry shortcake and have that for him when he got back in town late Sunday.

On Sunday morning I sent Sparky a heartfelt text message telling him what a great guy he Is and yadda, yadda, yadda…really laid the butter on thick!  I then texted his kids and told them all to make sure they honored dad on this very special of days.  When Hannah arose I made sure she used my phone to send dad a special message!  Gee we were certainly getting Sparky’s day off to a fine start.

We got to church a little late and I wondered why they weren’t running the pre service slide show.  But figured there was a glitch or something and didn’t think much of it.  I was busy visiting and talking to people after church so I didn’t have the opportunity to wish everyone a Happy Father’s Day – thank God for tying my tongue there! 
Hannah and I skipped Sunday School and headed out – I wanted to have everything in place for tonight and there was a busy day ahead.  On the way to Walmart I get a text from Nic informing me that Father’s Day is next weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHAT???? You’ve got to be kidding me!  I about drove off the road! I was beside myself.  Then, of course, once inside, all the Posters and advertising Proclaiming Father's Day June 15 taunted me and taunted me as they hung from the Walmart rafters! Hannah of course, had to point out each one of them, twisting the knife a little deeper in my wound! I texted the PowerPoint Guy and asked why he didn’t show the PowerPoint this morning, asking if it was because It said Happy Father’s day on it.  I could just imagine in my mind all the leadership team sitting around and scratching their heads and saying “Bless Kim” and then holding hands and praying for their poor absent minded church secretary!   He replied and said that he was busy making changes to the song slides and didn’t have time to show it!  I think that was definitely Devine intervention from the Grandest Father of them all to eliminate any more embarrassment for this poor lady!  I’m guessing at this point God was saying “Bless Kim” and intervened on my behalf!!  Thank you Father!  So glad he’s got my back.

This whole situation left my boys laughing like crazy, my poor husband bewildered and my daughter wondering why in the heck we come down so hard on her when she screws up! 

Pastor Carl talked about “flawed” humans today and challenged us not to live in our “flaws”.  I don’t know if  this was the kind of “flaws” he was talking about but “flawed” I feel nonetheless! 

Soooo, I really have nothing else to say but ….. “Bless Kim”….”Bless Father’s everywhere no matter what day you celebrate them” and well “Bless those that are sound in mind”!  It’s really a gift!

Happy Father’s day to all – now go find a reason to have some shortcake!