So, according to Facebook it’s National Sibling Day! I don’t know who comes up with these but I
really enjoyed looking at everyone’s tributes to their siblings on Social Media
today, especially those who posted pics from the 70’s where hair length made it
hard to tell the brothers from the sisters.
It made me think a lot about my one and only sister –
Janie! She’s 8 year’s older, 7 inches
shorter, lives 6 hours away and we don’t see each other much. We communicate a lot via text and email but I
have to say that when it comes to my sister – it’s not the quantity of time we spend together but the quality of it that makes her so special.
Tonight was a perfect example of this as she had me laughing
so hard I nearly had “tears” rolling down my legs!
She went for a colonoscopy yesterday. She called to recount the adventure with me
today – because, well, that’s just what you do with your sister.
So, the story goes like this…As is customary with the
procedure you must make sure the tunnel is clear before the doc ventures to go
where no one has gone before. So, they
give you a packet of instructions including the steps to follow to “clear the
tunnel” the day before the exam.
It’s a grueling day that no one anticipates including no
solid foods, no RED dye liquids and a steady stream of laxatives followed by a
steady stream of…well, you get the picture!
Trouble is…dear sister failed to read the NO RED DYE part of
the instructions. Some people have
selective hearing – she has selective reading!
So, in the morning she helped herself to a delicious cup of red jello
followed by a tasty red Popsicle. All
was good in her world!
Per the instructions, later in the day, she took the 4
laxatives that she was instructed to take and then she went ahead and mixed up
the powder laxative that she was supposed to take later in her favorite “Red”
Crystal Lite flavor. She put it in the
fridge so it would be icy cold and delicious for her drinking pleasure later in
the evening – when she felt so “moved” to enjoy it. A frugal gal, dear sister
opted to buy two small bottles of the powder instead of a big container so she
wouldn’t have an abundance of laxative powder going to waste. So, she measured
out enough for her delicious strawberry/orange/banana/laxative smoothie and
still had at least another serving left!
It was soon after this that a friend called to see how the
prep was going. What a friend, eh? This
kind of friendship gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Bosom Buddies! Having been on this journey herself, her friend
mentioned to Janie that she isn’t supposed to have RED DYE, when she heard
about the all red diet she’d been on!
Janie looks at the packet again and sure enough – there it is…NO RED
DYE!! EEEK! She quickly calls her doctor’s
office and consults with them and they assure her she will be okay as long as
she doesn’t use any more red products.
Her friend, who had previously used another product that
could be mixed with sprite advised her to use the gingerale she had on hand.
Sounded like a good plan to sis so she commenced to mixing up her little
cock”tail” – no pun intended!
She strategically measured out the gingerale and the powder
laxative and combined the two. What
happened next was straight out of a science experiment. When the powder laxative hit the carbonation
of the soda it created a volcanic spew that erupted all over her kitchen and
spilled down to the floor like hot flowing lava! The more it spewed the harder she laughed –
yep that’s my girl! We are surely
related!
Now, Janie, finds herself in quite a quandary as she is
currently a ticking time bomb with 4 laxatives settling comfortably in her gut,
no more laxative powder in the house and laxative/gingerale volcano lava all
over kitchen to clean up. She had to go to town for more powder before her
laxatives went to town in her gut!
My sister lives in a valley or holler! Due to recent floods and washed out bridges
getting to town is no easy feat these days so she set out and drove like a
maniac “the long way” to town. Once at
the store, noting that she could blow any minute without warning, she quickly grabbed
up the powder laxative, paid at the U-Scann and jogged back to the car.
She took great pride in letting me know that she made it
back up the mountain and down into the holler in epic time before another spew
occurred!
Doc told her “things” looked good down under and she
wouldn’t need another scope for 10 years to which she replied… "No way Doc – I’m
never doing this again!” Yep, that’s my girl!!
So, Dear Sister Janie – I love ya! There’s no denying we are sisters! Thanks for a lifetime of laughter but
especially thanks for the good laugh tonight.
To all those out there celebrating their sibling today…
Here’s to you….BOTTOM’S UP!!
