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Thursday, September 19, 2013

If you give a mama some super glue

If you give a mama some super glue
she will successfully fix a ceramic dish.
She will fill so accomplished and the little vial of super liquid in
her hand will make her feel very powerful.
She will feel so powerful that she will set out on a mission
to fix other things.

On her mission
she will find a broken drawer in her daughters room.
She will unload all the clothes and put the drawer on the bed
next to the nightstand with the ipad and a fruit snack wrapper.

She will use the fruit snack wrapper as a safe place to lay the potent
vial of glue after she fills the holes in the cheap dresser drawer being
careful to avoid the ipad.

She successfully fixes the drawer and once again feels very accomplished.
She puts the lid back on the glue and loads the clothes back in the drawer.
While she is on the floor loading the clothes into the drawer she will
notice a basket of clothes that need to be put away.
When she puts the clothes away she thinks that
 she might as well make her daughters bed.

When she makes the bed she sees the clutter on her desk,
so she straightens her desk and picks up her trash.
While she's going to put the trash in the can she thinks she
might as well pick up all the trash in the room.

She goes to the nightstand and picks up the fruit snack wrapper (a.ka. safe place to lay
the krazy glue stick) and a post it note and scrunches them up in her hand.
While she has all this trash in her hand she sees the ipad, realizes it needs to be charged
and decides to take it into the office on her way to the garbage can.

While going to plug in the ipad she see a sticky splotch on the front of it
to which she instinctively swiped with the loose pinky finger from the hand
holding the garbage.
The sticky splotch on the ipad case hardens
Her finger goes numb and the post it note sticks to it!!!
She removes most of the post it note, leaving a chunk behind on her finger
and tries to use hot water to wash off both her finger and the ipad case

The hot water made a hardened mess on both finger and case,
 leaving a condescending dot of hot pink post it note stuck fast to her finger

Being careful to type without her sticky post it dotted pinky finger,.
She googles how to remove sticky glue -
to which she was advised to use finger nail polish remover
She uses the nail polish remover and has some success with her finger but not the ipad case,
removing most of the glue but taking away some of the finish on the leather
Scratching her head over what to do next she looks up and sees a picture of her husband,
owner of the ipad, and wonders if he'll be smiling like he is in the picture when he sees the ipad case?

In the picture he is standing next to her daughter, seeing her daughter
 she contemplates taking the ipad back to her daughter's room and letting her take the blame.

Underneath the picture of husband and daughter is her bible,
Seeing her bible convicts her of her evil (albeit brilliant) plan.

Next to her bible is her laptop with the google search on the screen
Showing a second method - using Vaseline.
She uses the vaseline on both finger and case,
finger is getting better but case is still wet and she's not sure about it
While waiting for the ipad case to dry she thinks about how humorous all this is
and sits down to write this blog.

While writing the blog she replies to a text message
and sees there is still Super glue on her finger.

Seeing the Super glue on her finger reminds her
that she didn't finish fixing all the things she wanted to fix
She goes back to the drawer for the Super Glue...and sees the post it note! 
She makes a note that she better pick up some steaks for supper....just in case!!