Merry *@$%^ Christmas

Occasionally I have one of those mornings, or periods of time, where the whole situation seems hilarious to me, and I just break forth into “blog” or “poem” or both in this instance.

I originally wrote this poem just for the amusement of my husband and me since we’re probably the only ones that would understand it or think it’s funny.  But as he read it and I re-read it we just felt like it needs to be shared.

Why?  Well, because it speaks so (non) eloquently of the human nature.  We’ve all been in these situations before – we may not actually confess to saying a bad word, getting frustrated or whatever, but let’s face it – REALITY is hilarious! We have all had those crazy mornings or days where everyday life just happens. At the time it doesn’t seem so funny but, when we look back on it we see that we wouldn’t have been able to make this stuff up – even if we tried! And when it takes place in the midst of the holly jolly holidays – it’s just even funnier!

Let me give you some background about our evening/morning that inspired the following poem so that you will understand it….

·         First of all, there must be a dead mouse in the crawl space…or so says our noses (enough said).

·         Secondly, Jr. High homework may be the death of all of us – especially this African project our daughter has been doing for days for Social Studies.

·          Thirdly, Boy #1 is home for the holidays and making himself at home and making us laugh with his funny noises and voices and annoying his little sister.

·          Fourthly, Joel is very frustrated by a certain situation going on in the news right now. So, much so that this morning a potty word slipped out when he saw a report on it as he was leaving for work.  It’s okay to admit it – we’ve all had those little slip ups now and then. Okay, well except for my mother in law.  She once said “Shoot” in front of the children and apologized profusely.  So, if you’re as saintly as my mother in law, well then, God love ya! 

·         Fifthly – daughter heard said potty word and marveled that it came from Father’s lips.  Like any good Christian wife I texted my husband to let him know how he had wronged the child.  He apologized to her over the phone.  She didn’t really seem to care – she was just annoyed that he was taking time away from the African Social studies project that she NEVER…DID…COMPLETE!

·         Sixthly – I spent the morning correcting dad, keeping girl on task, trying to get out of the door in time to get her to school and then to work on time – hoping, hoping I won’t be late!! Only to realize when I finally make it to work that I don’t have my purse!

As I was rushing to get to the office, Christmas carols played in the background and I chuckled to myself when I heard the singer crooning about “Peace on Earth”!   I was thinking… “Hey…If you find, this, “Peace on Earth”, tell it to look us up – not much peace happening over at the Mishler’s this morning”!  And like I typically do after the storm hits – I laugh!!  And so this little poem was written to commemorate this Chaotic morning in the midst of the “The most wonderful time of the year”!

Merry *#$@%^ Christmas

Twas 9 days before Christmas and all through the house

Arose the stench of a stinky dead mouse

And, I in my black jammies, went to bed

While the girl crammed African homework facts into her head

Homework was still scattered when morning dawned

I prepared eggs while Daddy sat and yawned

Then suddenly on TV there arose something absurd

Causing daddy to drop a very naughty word

Then emerged the girl with eyes full of wonder

Homework yet to do and now a new word to ponder

Then on the phone, to the girl, the dad did apologize

While she still rubbed the sleep from her eyes

She labored over homework, with toast on a plate

And I am afraid, to work, I’ll be late

While over in the kitchen stood a half-naked son

Oh when or when will this homework get done!

As the son made breakfast filling the house with smoke

He had time to squeak, squeal and crack a few jokes

With homework unfinished and a half combed fro

Out in the frigid morning we finally go

I zoom to the school with no time to lag

When the girls says “Oh No, I forgot my cheer leading bag”

Half naked son gets a call from me

Taking her bag to school he nicely agrees

Pulling into work, I realize – I’ve forgotten my purse

Oh Good Grief now it’s my turn to curse!

Home again and then back to work alright

Merry *@$%^ Christmas to all and to all a good *@&%^ night!

This is proof that we're not always grumpy - Merry Christmas Everyone!