I WANNA DO OVER!!!

 I WANNA DO OVER!

Well here it is…the day before the first day of school.  If I weren't such a good Southern Christian woman I'd throw myself on the ground, pound my fists on the floor, kick my legs and scream uncontrollably....I WANNA DO OVER!  But us Southern Christian gals just don't do that kind of thing - well not in public anyway! 

I drove by a lake the other day on a whirlwind trip to pick up last minute groceries and I saw THEM there…there they were... "The LAKE PEOPLE"!  They were all tanned up with big white smiles and there were sounds of laughter, crashing waves and all the other sounds that relaxed, happy, vacationing people make!  "The Lake people" were having a glorious time.  They were frolicking in the water, soaking up the rays, skiing, boating, drinking tea on a pontoon… it all looked lovely.  I suddenly felt like Chevy Chase in the Christmas Vacation movie where he is waiting on the Christmas bonus, looking out the window and day dreaming of the pool  he will buy with it (however there was not a naked girl in my day dream as there was in Chevy's or a naked man for that matter! Southern Christian women don't day dream like that either).

Truth of the matter is; I don’t even like swimming in a lake, or skiing or boating and yet I found myself lusting. Lusting after that lifestyle – laid back, adventurous, frivolous, having days where there is nothing on the agenda and not a care in the world!  I often wonder what "The Lake People" do in their free time?  I can’t even imagine but I’m sure it’s just something glorious and filled with fun, fun and more fun!  I imagine they swim, boat and ski by day and enjoy tiki torch lit barbecue dinners on their patio in the evening and then go out for a quick pontoon ride as the sun goes down! And they have perfectly shaped bodies and just hang out in their bikini swim suits all day eating fresh pineapple and taking naps on the Lanai.  I don’t really know what a Lanai is, but it sounds lovely and I’d very much like to nap there too!    And the Lake People have big fat pay checks that just show up mysteriously in their mailboxes and they deposit them from their phone as they lay on a raft drifting in the water!  Oh…the Lake People! 

As I look back on my summer calendar I see that out of the past 8 weekends I had only one with no agenda and that was this past weekend, which I did enjoy immensely with my family.   The highlight of the summer was an afternoon where I took Hannah to a local zoo for the afternoon!  We went to a friend’s pool to swim one time – one stinkin time I swam this summer!! I WANNA DO OVER!

I love Facebook as I lived vicariously through others looking at the pictures of their vacations and wondering if they are actually "The Lake People" and this is what they do in their spare time – take vacations elsewhere! 

As I experienced yet had another crazy hectic day on this final day of Summer Vacay I found myself kind of feeling sorry for myself, and a little jealous, bitter, upset, envious, snarky – (insert your own adjective here). Better yet, just look up “Poor Pitiful Me” in the dictionary for a full description! 

So, it made me reflect on my summer.  The Lazy Days of summer they were not; as every day was filled with something.  And that IS a good thing right?  My days may not have been lazy wonderful fun filled days lounging on the beach or that Lanai thingy but they were, in fact, filled!  And they were filled with many good things. The older I get the more I realize what a blessing it is to have days that are filled with activity – as one day I may wish that I had more activity or long for these activity filled days!  Believe me, several trips to visit the nursing home will constitute an attitude check real quick!  So, just in case you need a list of the good things of my summer (I know I need to see a list) here goes:

...and we had ice cream except I look like I just had a long spoon!

1. I saw my sister for a one day getaway



 

 2. Good friends came to visit for a few days.

            

  

       3. I started a business with my husband  and...

       4. I scoured the countryside with him finding treasures to sell in our shop

5. I got to know many new friends as we watched our daughters play ball together and.... 6. I had the privilege of watching my healthy, able bodied daughter play ball

7. I attended weddings

8. I celebrated the home going of an uncle.

9.  I held a sweet newborn babe!

10.  I got to sleep later than 5 a.m. every single  

       day

11. And stay up late…

I saw gorgeous flowers, colorful birds, smelled freshly mowed hay, witnessed a Blue Moon, saw fireflies, made s’mores and went to bed smelling like a campfire a couple of times. Although, I'd still like to experience a few care free days...it wasn't such a bad summer after all! 

How was your summer?  

 I hope it was filled….with good…with normal…with blessings!

Spewing Sister!

So, according to Facebook it’s National Sibling Day!  I don’t know who comes up with these but I really enjoyed looking at everyone’s tributes to their siblings on Social Media today, especially those who posted pics from the 70’s where hair length made it hard to tell the brothers from the sisters.

It made me think a lot about my one and only sister – Janie!  She’s 8 year’s older, 7 inches shorter, lives 6 hours away and we don’t see each other much.  We communicate a lot via text and email but I have to say that when it comes to my sister – it’s not the quantity of time we spend together but the quality of it that makes her so special.

Tonight was a perfect example of this as she had me laughing so hard I nearly had “tears” rolling down my legs!

She went for a colonoscopy yesterday.  She called to recount the adventure with me today – because, well, that’s just what you do with your sister.

So, the story goes like this…As is customary with the procedure you must make sure the tunnel is clear before the doc ventures to go where no one has gone before.  So, they give you a packet of instructions including the steps to follow to “clear the tunnel” the day before the exam. 

It’s a grueling day that no one anticipates including no solid foods, no RED dye liquids and a steady stream of laxatives followed by a steady stream of…well, you get the picture!

Trouble is…dear sister failed to read the NO RED DYE part of the instructions.  Some people have selective hearing – she has selective reading!  So, in the morning she helped herself to a delicious cup of red jello followed by a tasty red Popsicle.  All was good in her world!

Per the instructions, later in the day, she took the 4 laxatives that she was instructed to take and then she went ahead and mixed up the powder laxative that she was supposed to take later in her favorite “Red” Crystal Lite flavor.  She put it in the fridge so it would be icy cold and delicious for her drinking pleasure later in the evening – when she felt so “moved” to enjoy it. A frugal gal, dear sister opted to buy two small bottles of the powder instead of a big container so she wouldn’t have an abundance of laxative powder going to waste. So, she measured out enough for her delicious strawberry/orange/banana/laxative smoothie and still had at least another serving left!

It was soon after this that a friend called to see how the prep was going.  What a friend, eh? This kind of friendship gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Bosom Buddies!   Having been on this journey herself, her friend mentioned to Janie that she isn’t supposed to have RED DYE, when she heard about the all red diet she’d been on!  Janie looks at the packet again and sure enough – there it is…NO RED DYE!!  EEEK! She quickly calls her doctor’s office and consults with them and they assure her she will be okay as long as she doesn’t use any more red products.

Her friend, who had previously used another product that could be mixed with sprite advised her to use the gingerale she had on hand. Sounded like a good plan to sis so she commenced to mixing up her little cock”tail” – no pun intended!

She strategically measured out the gingerale and the powder laxative and combined the two.  What happened next was straight out of a science experiment.  When the powder laxative hit the carbonation of the soda it created a volcanic spew that erupted all over her kitchen and spilled down to the floor like hot flowing lava!   The more it spewed the harder she laughed – yep that’s my girl!  We are surely related!

Now, Janie, finds herself in quite a quandary as she is currently a ticking time bomb with 4 laxatives settling comfortably in her gut, no more laxative powder in the house and laxative/gingerale volcano lava all over kitchen to clean up. She had to go to town for more powder before her laxatives went to town in her gut!

My sister lives in a valley or holler!   Due to recent floods and washed out bridges getting to town is no easy feat these days so she set out and drove like a maniac “the long way” to town.  Once at the store, noting that she could blow any minute without warning, she quickly grabbed up the powder laxative, paid at the U-Scann and jogged back to the car.

She took great pride in letting me know that she made it back up the mountain and down into the holler in epic time before another spew occurred!

Doc told her “things” looked good down under and she wouldn’t need another scope for 10 years to which she replied… "No way Doc – I’m never doing this again!” Yep, that’s my girl!!

So, Dear Sister Janie – I love ya!  There’s no denying we are sisters!  Thanks for a lifetime of laughter but especially thanks for the good laugh tonight.

To all those out there celebrating their sibling today… Here’s to you….BOTTOM’S UP!!

50 is only 14 in Scrabble

Odd but true facts about my 50^th  birthday

1.       My husband threw me a surprise party, but due to a blizzard no one was able to attend (not even us). We threw the cupcakes in the freezer the next day and are hoping the balloons don’t deflate before next Sunday when the party will hopefully resume.

2.      As I looked at the decorations for the party I noticed that the person who decorated had made a really neat “over the hill” cake out of depends. It had trinkets on it such as hemorrhoid cream and other old age remedies and gadgets.  It was very funny but also disturbing as I realized that I already own or use many of the items on the cake.

3.      My husband gave me a card addressed to his Senior Citizen Pal.

4.      Hubs called me on the way to work and sang “Some kind of wonderful” to me in its entirety – trouble is…I was in the shower and Hannah intercepted the call.

5.      At Walgreens today the clerk asked if I was 55 or older.  I wanted to punch her but decided my fragile bones might break! When I told her no, but in fact, today was my 50^th birthday she congratulated me on being an Aquarian!  Alas, it has taken 50 years for someone to congratulate me on my Zodiac placement! Apparently, according to the clerk, those that are born under the sign of water are to be respected.  And I was under the impression that those under water needed to be “resuscitated”!  Hmm, never too old to learn I guess! She asked Hannah for her birthdate and then informed her she was a Gemini.  Hannah left confused and I left humming Age of Aquarius in my head all day”!

6.      In honor of my “no white foods” diet I made “brownies” to celebrate the occasion.

Awesome and true facts about my 50^th birthday

1.      All of my hubs efforts to celebrate me made me feel incredibly special – I just love my senior citizen pal!

2.      My boys called me up on the phone to pay their respects, er, um, to say happy birthday – one of them even did a photo collage tribute to me on Facebook. Perhaps I should make him some brownies or whiteys!

3.      I got flowers from Spark and my in-laws – nothing better than that on a snowy cold day.

4.      My sister called and sang Happy Birthday to me – something I can always count on.

5.      So many Facebook greetings, text messages and emails from friends I can’t even count them!  Sure makes this old lady feel special, and mathematically challenged!

Thus far – 50 ain’t so bad!

Psalm 71:18

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.