Our family bid an “earthly” farewell to a wonderful man recently
– Joel’s Uncle Mark. We gathered for a
celebration of life service complete with recordings of Uncle Mark himself
singing with his quartet. It was a wonderful reminder of not only his amazing
talent, but of the God he served.
There was a time of sharing where folks reminisced and said
good things about Uncle Mark. Saying
good things about him came easy; he was a remarkable man. His two children shared memories and lessons
learned from their dad. I was very moved
by their takeaways. Hard work,
perseverance, a love of music, and the importance of relationships, were just a
few on the list.
As I reflected on the service later I couldn’t help but wonder
what lessons or memories my own children will take from my life. Since I plan to be called up with everybody
else at the trumpet blast, they most likely won’t get an opportunity to do
this. But in the event God chooses to
take me before his marvelous return I can’t help but wonder…. What will the
children share?
Mark’s daughter shared about her dad singing with her on the
tractor. Ah, such a blissful thought,
but, I’m guessing this won’t be a fond remembrance of me, by my children. They’ll be hard pressed to recall any singing
moments except for the timeless classic “Granny’s in the cellar, Lordy can’t
you smell her,” that I sang every time we ate biscuits.
What will the children share? Will they mention the cookies and desserts I
baked or just that I once cooled off a McDonald’s hot apple pie by hanging it
out the window as I drove down the highway on a freezing December day? Will
they talk about my good cooking or just recount the many creative things I
could do with a piece of bologna?
Will the children talk about my listening ear and how
comfortable they were coming to me for advice?
Or will they just mention how easily I jumped up to make a sandwich when
they beckoned me to do so from the basement?
Will they remember fondly the many hours I rocked them or
comforted them in the wee hours of the morning, or will they only remember the
times they feared for their life if they had to wake me in the night?
I have many ideas about how my “dream eulogy” should be
delivered and if the kids want me to write that ahead of time for them, I’m
happy to do so – just sayin’! However,
it’s those heart felt sentiments that tug at the heartstrings a little tighter.
I just hope there are some of those!
What will the children share? It’s a question that’s convicted me greatly
over the last few weeks. Parenting them
just happened. It went quickly, and as I
look back I wonder what kind of impact I really made.
I doubt that my impact will be as noteworthy as that of the virtuous
woman Proverbs 31 so eloquently speaks of. I’m impressed with how the biblical
book of Proverbs begins with a purpose and theme on how to live a godly life and
then ends with the example of someone who does; the virtuous woman.
Will the children share that I was like her? Or that I at
least gave it my best shot? Does my life reflect that I was a wife (or Mother,
or friend, or aunt or person) of noble character?
Will those in attendance that day be able to say that they
could trust me and that I meant them good, not harm? Will they be able to say I was hard-working,
providing for my family by making their needs of utmost importance? Will they be able to say that I was
resourceful, had strength of character and wisdom? Will they be able to look back on my life and
remember times where I showed compassion and charity – caring genuinely for
others? Will my husband feel that I respected him and never talked down to
anyone about him? Did I give faithful instruction in their time of need? Did I tend the home and make it a warm and peaceful
place they wanted to come home to? Was I
joyful, able to find laughter and help them find their laughter also? Did they respect me? Were they really able to rise up and call me
blessed (instead of other choice words that came to mind in their touchy junior
high years)?
But most importantly, will my children say that I was a
woman of Noble Character who feared the Lord? Or will they just remember that I
put the fear of the Lord in them – a time or two!?
What will the children say?
The Proverbs 31 woman has set the bar pretty high for us gals and it’s
difficult to hurdle over that no matter how big of a lead we take before
jumping. As I look at the pattern of the
Proverbs 31 one woman I can feel pretty overwhelmed and want to scream “Re-do,
Re-do”. Or, I can look at the pattern
and say… “Hmm looks like I’ve got some work to do.”
Perhaps, instead of wondering how I might be praised by my
children, I should spend my time becoming praise worthy in my Father’s eyes. He’s laid out the pattern – I’m a work in
progress.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who
fears the Lord is to be praised. (Prov. 31:30)
